


Bloody Goo

by Pandagirl23



Series: Enass-AU [31]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alien Goo, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood Blob, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Extreme slow burn, M/M, Nerd Tony Stark, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Salty Team, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Space Goo, Thirsty Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor, Tony Stark's Flight Suit, poor attempt at humor, tony stark is a nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28740852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandagirl23/pseuds/Pandagirl23
Summary: The Manor Team gets called to a situation of a creature entirely of coagulated blood
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Enass-AU [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017507
Kudos: 13





	Bloody Goo

**Author's Note:**

> As usual: If the story's time period is confusing, please do start at Move in Day but for Tony’s quirks and issues, please start around Flare in the Dark and Tinker Wheels. If you just want to read the story, again enjoy!! 😊
> 
> Still, Bucky thirst does happen. I don't know love having a thirsty monotone RussianBrooklyn accented Winter Soldier. 
> 
> In later stories, I wrote the main plot/subject points. Again, Thor and Bruce do come back (I don't know about as a couple). Sam and Rhodey? or Sam and Steve? Or poly the hell out of those three? I am debating.

If there was a day in the life that people regret occupations, it would be these kinds of days. Aliens, fine. Drama queen gods, cool. Fighting Ultron as a dinosaur, okay a little nerve-wracking but shit, it was a dinosaur. Out of all the things they fought over a couple of months, a giant blob made of blood, slugging it way downtown Brooklyn, really did something to the team.

Steve was horrified his home and old turf was being painted, literally red. He knows the saying but he doesn’t think people are serious about it.

James's feelings about Brooklyn were a hit and miss, he was upset but he doesn’t the full emotional package that his blond counterpart has for the location.

Sam flew overhead complaining that his already blood covered suit is going to cost a fortune to clean. Maybe he can get the ACCORDS people to get him a new suit.

Wanda tried to contain the creature but as most universal stupidity, the creature burst, scattered, and reformed after a while. Wanda was heated that damn monster did not get defeated so easily.

Widow had her head sticking out of said slow-moving blood slug. Her hair darker red and she had the most annoying face. She wishes Thor or Banner were around to at least fry this creature or even to continuously smash it till it was gone. Clint got her out twice before the damn thing seems to have a thing for her.

Clint sat on his perch not sure what to do without hurting his friend and long-time partner, “Anyone got any ideas? Cap lost his shield; Winter is not anywhere I can see him.”

Everyone stayed quiet while the blood blob continued its messy track down Brooklyn. Even Stark who tends to have a suggestion or smartass remarks was quiet.

Tony was on the phone in his suit, looking at his mother who was experimenting with a blood orchid. Irony loves them today.

“Momma, question. My team and I are fighting a giant blood blob.”

“Oh? I am listening to the news now. It got that woman who posed as a PA for you right?”

Tony beamed so happily that his momma always had the best memory, “Yeah that one. Anyway, any idea how to beat a blood blob that likes—egh!” Tony dodged a small tentacle that tried to pull him in. Looping away from the red jelly, he landed on a rooftop looking at the rather anticlimactic scene. He was hoping for robots or hell even a fire breathing dragon. That’d be cool. “the color red?”

“Coldwater then blot it. It happens many times when you or your siblings got a cut. Then white vinegar, cold water, and baking soda to remove the dried-up stains in clothes. Of course, if you don’t have that, salt paste.” She explained giving him a warm smile.

“Really?” Tony went to land in an alleyway. He can hear the lowered volumes about where the fuck is Stark at. They need to hold on, he is trying to get solutions.

“Really. Pepper can confirm it for you.” Enass teased her son who made a face.

“Agh, natural as it is that is a business I will leave to Pep, Momma. I have to kindly decline to ask her about her time of the month. See you in a couple of weeks? I mean you don’t have to come out here.”

“Oh sweetie, I do, besides I get to meet this Giacomo my son complains about so much.” She grinned more even as she removed one of the plants from the fridge that snapped at her. He watched her bop it on its head scolding it gently.

Tony felt his face flush even then, “I gotta go. Love you, mom.”

“Be careful sweetie.” She replied moving the snapping plant to the others.

He laughed quietly before hanging up when she cursed the plant for eating another. Right, time get rid of the big bad blob. Stepping out of his armor, he signaled FRIDAY to stand guard. Yeah, he had no fucks right now for being in his flight suit alone.

“FRIDAY honey let others know. I am going to go shopping!” He exclaimed running to the store jumping over a blood trail already having the store location and the location of the needed items. He got a happy face from FRIDAY making him grin.

James, in his focused state waiting for orders he found himself staring at a very tightly dressed Anthony scampering somewhere. He scampers. Touching his pulse, he made sure he was alive. He heard Steve asking FRIDAY why Iron Man is heading to the store. She said something about blood be gone products. He hummed out a laugh into his shirt as Natalia and Sam both cursed about forgetting just basic things that can get rid of the blood.

“We don’t have time for a test experiment.” Steve groaned out fingers rubbing into his forehead.

“Well, seeing how it is a giant blood blob, we might have to experiment,” Sam responded with a breath of irritation for not evening thinking of that.

It took several minutes when Wanda jumped as the armor flew away, probably where Stark was at till she saw the suit fly back with buckets and a Stark pushing a cart of supplies. She heard Stark call everyone over then Steve who told everyone to gather to Stark’s location. Maybe she shouldn’t take so much joy in the way Stark’s face twisted to try to hide his emotions.

“Right, besides the Black Widow,” Tony started all business, he wants to get this done and shower in his minute shower, “Falcon, I am sure you know what I am talking about when I say hose it down with cold water,” Wilson nodded already looking more peeved that this could be the solution. Tony wouldn’t be surprised honestly, “Then when the thing is down low enough, we blot it with this,” He grabbed a spray bottle, shaking the foamy “White Vinegar, Baking Soda and more cold water and if that doesn’t work then salt paste and water.” He gave each of them and himself several bottles of both mixtures.

“How are we going to get that cold water?” Clint spoke out.

Tony already was a step of ahead him, “FRIDAY is getting the water. Falcon, you and Winter Soldier, and FRIDAY will be pouring the water on them.”

Bucky can already see what this will look like. They will be like the helicopters that drop the carbon mist on fires to put them out in the woods.

The plan set in motion with no complaints led to a quick work of wet, spray, blot, dry. It took a while, but it would of taken a while to do by trying brute force the slime monster down. They worked it down so much that Natasha was able to slip out only get drowned in water from Clint who had an apologetic face but the glint in his eyes says it was worth it.

Squeezing her hair out, she grumbled about the smart move of not being blonde.

The creature got so down that, Wanda was able to contain without harm, enough where she can keep it till Strange came by.

The others went through the cleanup process, checking in on civilians, and making the report. Tony's own report was wordy, with the endnotes summarizing, that for being heroes they should have thought smarter and not fought harder. He is not wrong.

Strange came on time, ironically for something as simple as this thing. He explained this creature may have slipped out of a portal he just located. Somehow all lifeforms are color orientated bodily fluid types. This got faces from everyone except Clint he giggled, he giggled at the thought of a cum monster being real. Natasha smacked his head as if she knew what he was giggling about.

The sorcerer supreme took little blood blob to send him back home. Both Strange, blob, and the cape disappeared into the orange circle physics breaking magic, Tony can’t say much because the blood blob was physics breaking.

He sighed heading to his suit answering a call from Rhodey. “I know, we looked freaking ridiculous crouching and dabbing away bloodstains.”

Rhodey's voice in his head snorted out a gleeful sound, “That was the funniest shit ever. Oh, my stomach. Tony man, you all look like kids chasing an easter bunny. Oh, good god that is so good.”

Tony blew a raspberry getting back into the armor, “Laugh it up Rhodey-bear, I am about to ruin your whole night, Nesreen, Mecili, and the tiny children will be out here for a small vacation. Everyone is invited.” He listened as Rhodey let out half-assed distressed noise making the younger of the two laughs till he wheezed as FRIDAY help keep the suit on course.

James sat in the provided escort to the Manor, but he found today to be rather entertaining for the amount of foolishness they looked. He doesn’t even mind Natalia who sat there with a towel trying to fight off the Mid-March winds. He leaned back into his seat, mind throwing Anthony in his flight suit into the closet full of what Anthony could and has worn that will forever burn in his dreams. Plus, he didn’t even get messy, he counts this whole day big win.


End file.
